When We Were Romans Read online

  When We Were Romans

  ALSO BY MATTHEW KNEALE

  Small Crimes in an Age of Abundance

  English Passengers

  Nan A. Talese

  DOUBLEDAY

  NEW YORK LONDON TORONTO

  SYDNEY AUCKLAND

  When We Were Romans

  I

  – a novel –

  MATTHEW KNEALE

  PUBLISHED BY NAN A. TALESE

  AN IMPRINT OF DOUBLEDAY

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2008 by Matthew Kneale

  All Rights Reserved

  Published in the United States by Nan A. Talese, an imprint of The Doubleday Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.

  www.nanatalese.com

  Originally published in Great Britain by Picador, London, in 2007. This edition published by arrangement with Picador.

  DOUBLEDAY is a registered trademark of Random House, Inc.

  Book design by Gretchen Achilles

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Kneale, Matthew.

  When we were Romans : a novel / Matthew Kneale. — 1st ed. in the U.S. of America.

  p. cm.

  1. Problem families—Fiction. 2. English—Italy—Fiction. 3. Rome (Italy)—Fiction. I. Title.

  PR6061.N37W47 2008

  823'.914—dc22 2007045523

  eISBN: 978-0-385-52850-4

  v1.0

  For my father, who taught me so much about how to build a story.

  When We Were Romans

  CHAPTER ONE

  One day scientists found something strange out in space. This thing was pulling millions of galaxies towards it, one of them is the Milky Way which is ours, but the scientists couldn’t see the thing because it was hidden behind lots of dust. They thought “this thing must be huge to pull all these galaxies towards it, and we are getting pulled towards it really fast, it is at millions of miles per hour, but it could be anything, nobody knows, it is a mystery.” They thought “this is strange, this is scary” and then they said “I know, let’s call the thing the Great Attractor.” The great Attractor is pulling us right now. I think it is probably a huge black hole, because black holes eat everything, they even eat light so you can’t ever see them, they look just like a piece of really dark night. One day I bet there will be a big disaster, we will go nearer and nearer and then suddenly we will get pulled right in. It will be like a big hand gets us so we will vanish, because nothing can get out of a black hole you see, we will be stuck there for ever. It is strange to think that every day, every minute we are all being pulled towards the Great Attractor but hardly anybody knows. People go about their ordinary every day lives, they have toast for breakfast and go to school, they watch their favorite programs on the telly and they never even guess.

  We were coming back from the supermarket, we went to a further away one where we never went before so it would be all right, and it was an adventure mum said, we must be really quick, we must be like birds diving down and getting some food and flying away with it in their mouths. It was fun, actually, we got our cart and we almost ran, we just grabbed all the tins and packets and milk and tinfoil etc etc. Then Jemima saw some sweets in a little purple tin and she said “oh I want them, I need them, please mum.” Mum said “don’t be silly now, Lamikin” which is what she calls Jemima sometimes “anyway those aren’t real sweets their cough sweets, their bad for you.” But Jemima didn’t listen, she never does, and she started crying like a big crybaby, she said “but I need them, I need that purple tin.” She was still saying it when we were coming back in the car and suddenly we were almost home. We went past Mrs Potters house and the droopy trees which look funny like hair and I thought “uhoh” I thought “now there will be trouble” but I didn’t say anything of course, because we couldn’t ever say anything in front of Jemima, because she was too young to understand. But then there was a surprise, because it was fine after all. Jemima was terrible just like I expected, when mum stopped the car she said “I’m staying here, I want to go back to the supermarket” but mum was ready, she said “if you come with me then I’ll give you a nice treat” and it worked. Jemima went quiet and said “all right.” Then we were so fast. Mum got Jemima out of her car seat and we all got all the plastic bags out of the trunk, I carried lots, even though they were really heavy, we went to the door, we were almost running, and Mum had her key all ready. That was when I looked round, I didn’t really want to but I couldn’t help it, I just had to. I looked at the fence and the bushes. But it was all all right, there wasn’t anybody at all.

  Then we were inside, mum shut the door, she locked it, and I thought “hurrah hurrah” I thought “look at all this food, this will last ages.” We put it away in the fridge and the cupboards, and after that I went up to see Hermann. I cleaned his bowls and gave him some new nuts and water. Jemima followed like always so I let her watch, I said “no you can’t hold him.” Then it was time for robot wars, which is one of my favorite programs, there was a robot called the obliterator and another called the stamper which had a big sort of foot. So we sat on the sofa and I thought “I bet everything will be all right now” I thought “I bet dad will go away back to Scotland and then I can go back to school again, because I’m all better from my flu now” I thought “I wonder if Tania Hodgsons cat had its kittens yet, I wonder if they were all tabbies like their mum?” Jemima was being annoying like usual. She said “I don’t want to watch robot wars, I want to watch the other side.” I said “there isn’t anything on the other side Jemima you big silly, its just the news” but it didn’t work, she said “I want the clicker, I never get the clicker, its my turn.” Jemima is terrible with the clicker, she just does it again and again really fast so you can’t watch anything, so I said “you can’t Jemima, you’ll break it like you broke your new pink sunglasses.”

  That was when mum came in. She said “here’s your treat lesonfon” which is what she calls us sometimes, it is “children” in French, she told us once. It was our supper, usually we can’t eat it when we watch telly but she said “just this once” and it was hot dogs and oven chips which was a treat too, because mum says we can’t have oven chips because their too expensive, their a real waste of money. Usually I would just be pleased by those treats, I would think “oh yes, how delicious” but this time I wasn’t actually, which was because I noticed mums face. You see, all that smiling she got from getting the food from the supermarket was just gone away again, it was like it all went down the plug hole, she tried to smile when she said “heres your treat, lesonfon” but it didn’t work, I saw it, she just looked all worried and desperate.

  I looked at Jemima but she hadn’t noticed, she was too busy watching robot wars and trying to eat her chips too quickly, she said “ow too hot” she is such a greedy guts. I thought “what will I do, I must help mum” I thought “but I really want these chips, if I don’t stay and eat them then Jemima will steal them secritly, perhaps I should just stay and eat them really fast” but then I thought “no no, I must help mum now.” Suddenly I had an idea. I said “Jemima I am going to the loo, you can have the clicker just until I get back” and she was really pleased of course, she said “oh yes” and grabed it right out of my hand. I said “I’ve counted all my chips really carefully, Jemima, if you eat even just one tiny one then I’ll notice and I’ll put all your favorite dolls on a high shelf so you’ll never get them again.”

  Mum was sitting in the kitchen. She jumped up a bit when she
saw me, she said “Lawrence.” I said “whats wrong mum?” and she went really quiet, she said “what dyou mean?” so I said “somethings gone wrong, I can see it in your face.” She closed her eyes a bit, she said “oh Lawrence, I don’t want to upsit you with all of this” and she sort of squinted her eyes. I thought “she will tell me now” so I said “all of what mum?” and she did a little moan, she said “I don’t know what to do, its so awful, we just can’t go on like this.”

  I really hated it when poor mum went sad like that. I thought “what can I do to help her?” but I couldn’t think of anything, I tried and tried, I thought “this is bad” until suddenly I had an idea. So I said “why don’t we go away for a bit, just until he’s gone away, we could go to Uncle Harry’s or somewhere.” Uncle Harry lives in London, he has a big house. We went there for Christmas but it was just for lunch, we didn’t stay because we are too noisy so aunt Clarissa gets a head ache, and mum gets worried Jemima will break Uncle Harries old plates which are stuck on the walls like pictures, they cost lots of money. But mum shook her head, she said “they’re away, they’ve gone skiying.” I thought “oh dam” I thought “there must be somewhere we can go” but it was hard actually, because mum doesn’t know many people, usually its just us in the cottage. I thought “I’m not going to give up now when everythings going so well, when we got all that food.” So I said “what about Grandma and Grandpa in Kew.”

  Mum shook her head again, she was blinking, she said “he’d just follow us…” But then she stopped, she frowned like she was thinking really hard, and she said “unless…” This was good, at least she wasn’t just saying “no, nothing will work” so I said “unless what?” And then she said it, she said “unless we went somewhere really far away. Somewhere he’d never be able to find us. Somewhere like Rome.” Now she sort of squinted like this was better and better and she said “actually we could you know. I’ve got our passports from that time we almost went to France.”

  This was different, this was a big surprise. Mum sometimes talked about Rome where she lived years ago before I was born, and how we must all go one day to see the fountains which were so beautifull and eat the food which was so delicious, but I never thought it would happen, especially suddenly like this. Another surprise was that mum didn’t look so worreid anymore, in fact she even did a little tiny smile, that was good. I didn’t want to stop mums new smile of course, I really wanted it to stay, but I just didn’t know, I couldn’t help it. So I said “but what about school?” because I had tests at the end of term, you see, and I had my science project too, I was doing SPACE for Mr Simmons, who was my favorite teacher. But Mum didn’t mind, that was good too, she didn’t go sad after all. She said “we could take all your books so I can teach you for your tests and help with your project. And anyway it wouldn’t be for very long, just till we are sure dads gone away. I could ring the school and say you’ve still got the flu.”

  I thought “I suppose so, if its just for a short time. I can take my book on Space that I got for Christmas from Uncle Harry and Aunt Clarissa, that will be for my science project.” I thought “it’ll be a shame if I miss Tania Hodgsons kittens” but then I thought “it will be nice to see the lovely fountains.” But then before I could think anything else the door pushed open with a bang and Jemima came in and said “robot wars finished.” Probably she guessed we were talking about something without her, she had her spying look so I bet she was listening at the key hole but she couldn’t hear anything. You have to watch Jemima because she is everywhere. Mum pretended she wasn’t surprised, she pretended she was expecting her to come in suddenly like that, she clapped her hands in the air like she had a special treat and said “Jemima, we’ve got some big, big news. We’re thinking of going away.”

  I thought “I will help mum” so I said “Yes, isn’t it exciting, we are going to Rome, won’t that be nice.” I don’t think Jemima knew anything about rome really, but she made her silly surprised face to pretend she did, then she clapped her hands and shouted “oh yes Rome Rome”.

  So suddenly it was a real plan now, it was all finished. Mum was so pleased, she was smiling and smiling, that was good, that was wonderfull, because she hardly did that for weeks, not since I got the flu and dad came down from scotland secretly. It was like it was bubbeling out of her and making her eyes go blink blink. I thought “oh hurrah” I thought “this is good” I thought “I hope it doesn’t all just go away again.”

  I went back and ate my hot dogs and Jemima didn’t eat lots of my chips after all, she might have got one or two, it was hard to tell. Then mum said there was no point in dillidallying, we must go to Rome right now, we must go tommorrow morning, which meant we had to start packing straight away. She said we had to be very careful, we mustn’t take too many things because they wouldn’t fit in the car, so she gave me and Jemima three boxes each. Jemima talked to all her dolls and her animals, she said “are you going to be good, no, then you can’t come” or “all right then, you can come to Rome” then she threw them into her boxes with some other things all in a rush, and she didn’t take any notise when I told her “Jemima you must chose carefully or you’ll leave your favorite things behind and then you’ll cry,” she just got angry and shouted “but I have been careful, I won’t cry.” I thought “wow, we are going to Rome, that’s amazing.” It wasn’t easy packing. I wanted to take my computer consel, my football game, my drawing paper and pencils, and also all my Tintin and Asterix books, all my lego, my hot wheels cars and track, my school books and my book on space and of course there was Hermann and his cage, but that was much too much for my three boxes, so I thought “uhoh, this will be hard.” I could hear Mum in her bedroom packing, she wasn’t keeping watch at all, sometimes she just forgets, so I thought “that’s silly, mum” and I went into the sitting room so I could look.

  It was a bit frightening actually, because when I started opening the curtain I thought “dads face might be right here on the other side of the window looking right at me.” But there was a strange thing too, because d’you know a bit of me sort of hoped he would be there, that was funny. That bit wanted him to look in with his silly smile and his hair that goes up like smoke, it wanted him to say “hey there Larry hower you doing?” But then I squashed that bit, I blew it up, I thought “oh no you don’t” and I thought “I don’t like you dad, just go away, don’t start pretending to be nice.” But of course he wasn’t there anyway, there wasn’t anybody, it was just the window pane, all tall and black. I put my hand on it, it felt cold, and then I went right up close to the glass to look out, but it was really dark, the light just went a little way, it did a bit of the grass, there was some of a bush, and I could hear the wind making the trees move, swish swish swish.

  After that I did my boxes. None of them were big enough for my school books and the tintin books together, so I took the biggest one, I cut its corners with scissors and then selotaped them round the books leaving gaps, though I had to put more selotape on the inside so it would not stick and wreck them. I was worried mum would get angry that I made the box bigger but she never did, but of course everything got so busy after that she probably never even noticed.

  When I tried to pack my other things I found there wasn’t enough room, Hermanns cage took up a whole box by itself, so I had to leave my football game, my Asterixes, and some lego behind, that was a real shame, but I thought “I like Tintin better than asterix anyway.” Then I saw there was an empty space in one of Jemimas boxes, she was in bed now, so I put my Lego in there because otherwise that space would just go to waste. After that I cut lots of holes in Hermanns box so he could see out, but then I threw the box away completly, I thought “he doesn’t need it, he will just have his cage” so it was late when I finished, but not really late, not dawn this time. I put the boxes downstairs, I put on my pijamas and brushed my teeth, four times each tooth like mum says, then I gave mum her kiss, she was still packing, she was smiling like before, and I went to bed.

  Wh
en I woke it was just getting light and I could hear mum outside shouting “dam dam” so I knew something had gone wrong. I thought “uhoh, what now?” so I got dressed like a hurricain and ran downstairs without even brushing my teeth and it was cold downstairs because the front door was wide open. Mum was standing by the car, there were some bags already in it and lots more on the ground. She said “dam this car” and her smile was all gone now just like I thought, she looked tired and scared and she said “I just cant get everything in.” Then she looked all round and suddenly she shouted “I don’t care if your out there.”

  Though I hadn’t even had my breakfast I thought “I will help, I will make her all right again” so I said “don’t worry mum, I’m sure they’ll all go in” and I helped her try the bags in different ways, but they just wouldn’t fit at all, that was a shame. Mum was scratching her arm, it was all red again, and she said “oh god, we’ll never get away, dad will come now, I just know he will.”

  That was when a funny thing happened. When she said this I heard a car coming up the road, so suddenly I got really worrid, I thought “that’s him, he went away to a shop or to eat his breakfast and now he’s coming back in his car” I thought “I know I will pick up a big stick” but there wasn’t one anywhere, that was bad. I thought “uhoh what will I do” but then when I looked up d’you know there wasn’t any car after all. The road was just empty, there wasn’t even any noise, which was really strange, because I was sure I heard it, it was like a mystery. So I thought “we’re safe after all” and suddenly I felt much better, I thought “everything will be all right now.” So I took mums hand to stop her scraching and I said “mum, we will just have to leave some things behind” and d’you know she got better too, she said “your right Lawrence, of course you are.”